Sexology

What is the helping relationship in sexology?

The helping relationship is the application of a set of skills by a professional sexologist equipped with a variety of intervention techniques. These techniques are based on approaches supported by the literature. It involves accompanying or supporting a person experiencing certain issues that have a negative impact on one or more spheres of their life. The helping relationship is not limited to sexology, and can be carried out by a wide range of professionals in a multitude of fields, for example: social work, psycho-education, psychology, psychotherapy, orthopedagogy, nursing, occupational therapy, criminology, personnel management, helplines, etc. However, the training, qualifications and skills required to carry out a helping relationship are not always the same. On the other hand, the training, qualifications, techniques and approaches employed, as well as the objectives of the interventions, vary enormously from one context to another and according to the setting in which the helping relationship takes place.

What to expect from a helping relationship

An individual requesting follow-up with a sex therapist who offers counselling services can expect to receive support in exploring and expressing the many aspects of his or her sexuality. The following dimensions could therefore be addressed: physiological, social and cultural, relational and intimate, developmental and cognitive, moral and ethical, as well as psychoaffective. The aim of these introspections is to make the individual aware of the various elements that interfere with his or her sexual, relational and intimate well-being. These reflections also aim to bring out the strengths and aptitudes that the person possesses, which can be used to overcome current difficulties. The sex therapist who offers counselling sessions will also suggest new strategies in line with the individual’s abilities and interests. Throughout the follow-up, information from credible sources concerning sexuality and the issues at stake will be shared, in order to increase the client’s knowledge, know-how and interpersonal skills.

Objectives and desired changes vary from one person to the next, but the common goal of all counselling sessions in sexology is to promote the individual’s autonomy with regard to the issues at hand. Sessions may also aim to facilitate decision-making, the choice of behaviours to be deployed, the maintenance of useful strategies and the acquisition of new tools. Clients will be encouraged to clarify their values, needs, desires and limits.

Choosing the right sex therapist

The essential skills and attitudes of a sex therapist in a helping relationship include empathy, non-judgment, listening, caring, authenticity, humility, self-reflective self-awareness, sensitivity to the subjective realities of individuals and much more. The sexologist’s responsibilities include managing the framework and climate of encounters and co-constructing a healthy alliance. Each sexologist has specific knowledge of different themes. So it’s a good idea to be aware of the approaches they recommend, as well as their areas of specialization, before embarking on any treatment. More specific topics include: sexual violence, trans* and non-binary identities, BDSM practices, sexual response (desire, pleasure, arousal, plateau, orgasm), STIs and HIV, coming out, body image, aging, ethno-cultural realities, alternative sexualities, diversity of sexual orientations and love inclinations, various relationship configurations, the desire for children, contraception, consent and sexual communication, etc.

A relevant distinction to make is that between a person with the title of sexologist (in helping relationships) and another person with a title such as sexology professional, coach in human sexuality, bachelor in sexology, etc. The title sexologist is reserved for individuals who are members of the Ordre professionnel des sexologues du Québec. The title sexologist is reserved for individuals who are members of the Ordre professionnel des sexologues du Québec. Like sex therapists, these individuals are subject to a set of professional rules governing their practice. This set of rules (record-keeping, code of ethics and professional conduct, ongoing training to improve and update knowledge) is designed to protect the public who call on the services of sexologists.

What are the reasons for consulting a sexologist?

There are many different reasons for consulting a sexologist, but here are a few examples:

• Experiencing personal difficulties (loss of self-esteem after a difficult situation, depression, anxiety, bereavement, end of a difficult relationship, etc.);
• Have experienced verbal, psychological or sexual abuse;
• Have recently received one or more mental health diagnoses;
• Want to start a couple process to get closer or avoid separation/divorce;
• Having relationship difficulties with your partner or children (communication or comprehension problems, repetitive conflicts, verbal, psychological or sexual violence, excessive anger, jealousy, etc.);
• Questioning your gender identity or sexual orientation;
• Wanting to change their love configuration (opening up the couple, becoming polyamorous or polyamorous),
• Having various intimate difficulties with your partner (loss of libido or desire, pain during vaginal or anal penetration, etc.);

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